The question “Is it okay to be friends with your ex?” is asked, searched for, and put up a lot by couples after a breakup. But you yourself will give the right answer.
Is it okay to be friends with your ex ?
The answer to your question, “Is it okay to be friends with your ex?”, is: No! It’s not okay to be friends with your ex, especially right after you’ve broken up, and there are valid reasons for this (which we’re going to discuss later in this article). But if you still want to be friends with your ex, you should follow some rules (discussed at the end of this article). But before that, let’s understand: “Why do you want to be friends with your ex?”.
Being friends with your ex
Let us help you with this: Ask yourself a few questions, like “What’s the purpose of being friends with your ex?”; “Do you still have feelings for your ex?”; “Do you want to be the backup plan in case your ex changes his or her mind?”; and many more.
Just be honest with yourself; if any of the answers are yes, then don’t you think it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex? You’ll get nothing but disappointment because you guys break up for a reason, right? In addition, if you guys converse or hang out too often, it becomes too difficult for you to move on with your lives, and you experience even more suffering. And after the break-up, as you are hurt and need time to heal, it is better not to be in touch with or be friends with that person for at least a few months or years.
Once you have healed and moved on with your life, if you still feel you can be a normal friend with your ex, it is acceptable. But before that, you’d better give yourself some time to heal and to feel good about yourself. Look at the following reasons to know: “Is it okay to be friends with your ex?”.
Is it okay to be friends with your ex ?
Here are some of the reasons why it’s not okay to be friends with your ex:
DIFFICULT TO MOVE ON:
Just be practical; you can’t be friends just after you guys break up. As you still have the feelings of hurt, anger, romantic desires, attachment, and fresh memories in your mind. So at that time, if you guys talk and meet more often, either alone or with another friend circle, it gets difficult for you to fade those memories, feelings of closeness, or relationship issues.
Thereby, makes it too difficult for you to move on in life. Moreover, that gets even more difficult if you still have feelings for your ex-partner. So stay away, give yourself time to grieve, heal, and look at life with fresh eyes.
CAN HURT YOU EVEN MORE:
As you now communicate and meet as friends, you discover that your ex-partner has developed feelings for someone else. Won’t you get hurt? Well, the answer is definitely yes. Either you want to hold your ex-partner back or try to be too cool, but in reality, you’ll get affected because of your feelings and attachment.
It’s completely normal to feel this way, and you get hurt even more by indulging in your ex-partner’s life. So better stay away (especially for some time), i.e., don’t even try to know what’s going on in your ex-partner’s life.
RELATIONSHIP WITH NEW PARTNER MAY SUFFER:
On one hand, you are friends with your ex, while on the other hand, you try to move on in life and find a new partner. As you may talk, spend time, and meet with your ex, you are automatically left with less time, energy, and mood to meet your new partner. So any relationship with your ex can affect your new relationship, one way or another. So open your hands and let go of that old relationship, and think about your future.
DIFFICULT TO OPEN UP WITH A NEW PARTNER OR FRIENDS:
As you have already spent so much time with your ex-partner, you definitely got to know each other quite well. So if you are friends with your ex, you are more likely to communicate and share with them. Due to this, you rarely try to push yourself to open up with a new partner or new friends. And you still have that emotional baggage with you, which further messes up the situation. So you should take a break from your ex and look at other opportunities.
Some rules to be friends with your ex
After getting the answer to your question, “Is it okay to be friends with your ex”?, but if you still want to be friends with your ex after considering all these aspects (as described above), then you have to make strict rules to avoid mess up your emotions and life by being friends with your ex. Here is the list of those rules:
NEVER TALK ABOUT YOUR PAST:
Whatever happened has happened; let bygones be bygones, so don’t try to talk about anything about your past relationship, i.e., how you first met, how you enjoyed each other’s company, what broke your relationship, and many more. As you tried a new relationship with your ex, which is just friends, you should only be like that. In fact, by discussing the past, you risk being hurt, feeling attached, or creating awkwardness between yourselves.
DON’T DEPEND ON YOUR EX FOR THE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT:
Undoubtedly, you opened up your heart in front of your partner when you guys were together. But now the relationship is quite different, and the scenario has changed. But if you are not feeling well now or have some issues, then please make a habit of not relying on your ex-partner for support. Try to control your emotions, habits, and mindset and handle all the situations yourself. Just be very particular about that.
BE WITHIN YOUR LIMITS:
Simply set the limit with your ex, just like you have with your other friends. Don’t go beyond that. Keep in mind not to flirt, give any signal, use romantic gestures, spend too much time, expect too much, etc. Remember, you can get nothing from all these things. So friend means friend; that’s it, nothing more than that. And before you become friends, you should make the same rules clear to your ex-partner.
If your relationship with one person doesn’t go well and you guys part ways, then why keep looking at it and revolve around that person? By doing this, you get nothing but disappointment. I know the breakup is not easy to deal with. But as it happens, you have to deal with it practically and with maturity, not emotionally.
Just take your time to heal and move on in life. Even if you guys end on a good note, it’s still better to maintain some distance from your ex. Just accept it and move ahead; you’ll get the one who gives you the love and care you desire and deserve. So stay positive and look beyond your ex-relationship.
I hope this article helps get the answer to your question, “Is it okay to be friends with your ex?”.
