Finding it difficult to heal after divorce? Let’s explore one of the most effective ways to overcome that pain and heal after divorce, i.e., “self-compassion”.
How to heal after divorce?
As per the study, millions of couples get divorced every single year, and they need to get over the pain and hurt of separation to move on in life. In general, it gets too difficult for some to move on easily, while others manage to get over that pain and heal after divorce somehow easily. Now the question is, “What makes this difference?”. According to some studies, self-compassion very effectively helps to heal after divorce (though exceptions exist).
SELF-COMPASSION
Self-compassion is the acceptance and understanding of one’s self when life and the situation are hard on you. It’s about being warm and kind to oneself instead of ignoring, criticizing, or hurting oneself when you fail or suffer. It’s more like treating oneself the way you treat, guide, or support your best friend when they are going through a tough time, or the way you get support from your best friend when you are going through difficult times.
Self-compassion is way more powerful than you think; it does not just help to heal and move on in life during unfortunate events (like divorce), but also helps promote overall well-being, better relationships, and more happiness in life.
HOW DOES SELF-COMPASSION HELP YOU HEAL AFTER DIVORCE?
Self-compassion helps to boost your self-esteem, positive outlook, and hopefulness, which in turn helps you to heal after divorce and move on in life. The person with high self-compassion is more likely to consider the situation as part of their experience, and they don’t stick to those memories and situations. They do get hurt, but somehow they manage to ease that pain with their positive attitude and mindset.
On the other hand, a person with low self-compassion is more likely to be stuck in that situation and keep on thinking negatively. So it gets difficult for such people (with low self-compassion) to deal with and heal from difficult situations, like divorce. So this is how self-compassion helps to heal after divorce and to move on in life.
WAYS TO INCREASE SELF-COMPASSION:
As discussed above, it’s very important to have high self-compassion to stay positive and happy when life goes hard on you. But if you are on the lower side, some ways will help you increase your self-compassion, which are listed below:
Maintain your health and body
Do take good care of your health and body to increase self-compassion, which in turn helps you heal after divorce. For that, eat a healthy and well-balanced diet, exercise, take proper rest, and even do massage. These seem like quite little and basic things, but they are very effective at relaxing your mind and changing your mindset. So give it a try and see the difference.
Try to motivate yourself
Don’t try to be so hard on yourself. Just understand your feelings and keep on giving yourself a little push, i.e., to accept the situation and look towards your future. And try to be kind and friendly with yourself to promote the feeling of self-compassion. For that, you better talk with yourself and then provide support. Just like you would want to offer it to your best friend when they need you in their tough time. Keep on practicing these things so that it gets easier for you to have a positive outlook. And to heal faster after a breakup or divorce.
Practice forgiveness
Sometimes, having the guilt of your mistakes (that led to the end of your relationship) makes it difficult for you to come out of that pain. But you need to practice forgiveness even for yourself, i.e., just accept your mistakes and flaws and try to improve yourself instead of hurting yourself. As no one is perfect, neither are you, so just be kind and gentle with yourself. This is how you’ll be able to increase your self-compassion.
Write down your feelings
Expressing and venting out the feelings that hurt you the most makes you feel better. Because that makes you realize what exactly is hurting you the most. This way, you get to understand yourself much better. You can even write down the things that bother you. And then you can also write down the things you are grateful for, which helps promote a positive outlook. Such practices are very helpful to increase self-compassion.
Practice mindfulness
Apart from other ways, mindfulness is also one of the best practices for having better clarity about what you are feeling or sensing right now, i.e., without any judgment. It helps to relax your mind, to accept the situation, and to have a strong mindset. Moreover, it works great to reduce stress, thereby also helping you heal after divorce. Practice for a few minutes daily, and you will be ready to deal with the situation with a positive outlook.
Remember: If one particular thing works great for one, that doesn’t mean that it will work the same for the other, i.e., to get over and heal after divorce. Try to determine what will make you feel better and help you recover more quickly. But in general, self-compassion is quite effective for getting over the pain and heal after divorce. So give it a try and see how much that helps you!
