When you are being taken for granted in a relationship, it means that your partner no longer values you, and cares for you. Because they have no fear of losing you to however they are treating you. They just don’t care about you, your feelings, and your emotions, and just be in their own world.
ARE YOU BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED IN A RELATIONSHIP?
It’s the most common problem couples have, especially after they’ve been together for a long time. Are you also the one who feels the same way—that you are being taken for granted in a relationship? But have doubt!
Don’t worry; this article explains 12 signs and even outlines some ways to stop being taken for granted in a relationship. Keep reading till the end!
WHAT SIGNS SIGNIFY THAT?
The following are 12 signs that show your partner takes you for granted:
1. They show no respect towards you
Your partner takes you for granted if they do not value you, Thank you and appreciate your efforts. They don’t even bother with your opinions or feelings, which signifies disrespect for you. That means you’re no longer anyone to your partner. And if that becomes your partner’s routine, then you will definitely need to talk about it before it’s too late.
2. They don’t discuss anything before making big decisions
If your partner considers your opinion on every small and big thing, you actually feel valued and connected in a relationship, which means that your existence matters in your partner’s life. It’s not about asking permission and all that; it’s about sharing your feelings, opinions, and decisions with each other. Because when you value someone, you make sure that person knows your every decision, especially the big ones.
Thus, if your partner starts making decisions on their own, i.e., without even knowing you, be aware that they are taking advantage of you. And that clearly shows that they take you for granted.
3. They are no longer putting forth efforts
When they don’t make you feel special and happy, that means they take you for granted. Also, they don’t even try to fix problems, fights, and other problems in a relationship. Because deep inside, they don’t bother about these things.
But these things will affect your relationship in the long run. So make sure you discuss it with your partner.
4. They have no idea what you prefer
If you really care for someone and value that person, you just want to know more and more about that person, i.e., his or her likes and dislikes, favorite things, dream places to visit, and many more.
But if you’re being taken for granted in a relationship by your partner, they start becoming careless and lenient towards you. Thereby hardly knowing what you like the most, which thing makes you happy, how you are feeling right now, etc. This kind of behavior simply makes you feel worthless in a relationship.
5. They don’t spend much time with you
I know everyone is busy these days, but you’ll definitely manage to get some time for the one you love the most because you know that person’s value in your life. But if your partner rarely shows you how they feel, spends time with you, or asks you questions about yourself, that’s a clear sign of taking you for granted. They just don’t value you any more, and hence, you are not that important.
6. They don’t even try to adjust
Earlier, both of you may have promised each other that we would adjust, change, and manage to make our relationship happy and healthy. What has just happened? Why does your partner not even try to adapt to the shifting circumstances and responsibilities? It’s because they are taking you for granted, so they don’t even try to do something to make their relationship healthy and happy. It’s literally the most serious thing to talk about with your partner.
7. They don’t prioritize your calls and texts
When your partner is not taking your calls or messages. And he doesn’t even feel responsible to inform you, like when he gets late at home, is in a meeting, and so on. They simply don’t care to inform you. This clearly signifies that you’re being taken for granted in a relationship by your partner, as you are no longer even in their thoughts.
8. They put other things before you
Remember that no one is literally busy; it’s all about priorities. So if your partner has always put others before you, whether it’s work, “me” time, workout time, chill time, hangout time with friends, etc., then you need to speak up for your own worth. Because you get hurt and feel lonely as your partner takes you for granted.
9. They want you to manage all the things
Relationships are more about sharing everything, i.e., feelings, opinions, and even responsibilities. No one wants to be in a relationship where one person manages everything and the other person gets free from all the responsibilities.
If that’s happening in your relationship, where your partner wants you to manage all or most of the things without bothering that you too get tired or have a busy schedule, do consider it a red flag. This attitude of your partner makes you feel exhausted and unhappy in a relationship.
10. They lose their temper too often
When your partner doesn’t care how to behave with you, i.e., they easily lose their temper and even vent out their frustration on you without even thinking about it. That signifies that they don’t value you and even take you for granted.
Moreover, you can’t stay happy with this kind of behavior from your partner. So you should talk about it with your partner and make sure they realize your worth.
11. They don’t give you importance
In general, if you know the value of something, you also know its importance. So if your partner doesn’t give you importance, that means they don’t know your value. And that signifies they take you for granted. Even though they are totally dependent on you, either one way or another, they don’t realize it. So make sure they realize your value and importance in their lives.
12. They don’t even apologize for their mistakes
You apologize when you really feel bad for hurting someone, right? But if your partner doesn’t care how you feel or what hurts you, then what’s the use of being in such a relationship? If your partner is not willing to accept and apologize for hurting you or doing something wrong, then do consider it a red flag in a relationship.
HOW DOES THAT AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Being taken for granted in a relationship may not sound like a big deal, but it is. It makes you feel bad and unhappy about your relationship because your partner doesn’t value and appreciate you to the extent that you literally deserve it. Just think! How long can you drag out your relationship with that feeling? So it will tremendously affect your relationship in the long run, whether you realize it or not. When you are being taken for granted in a relationship by your partner, it makes you feel:
- sad
- depressed
- lonely
- worthless
- suffocated
- and even irritated.
And if you are not happy in a relationship, then what’s the use of such a relationship? That one attitude from your partner can ruin your relationship. So you should talk about it and discuss it with your partner.
POSSIBLE REASONS:
- You don’t know your own worth.
- You keep tolerating this attitude.
- You never take a stand against it.
- You never open up and share your feelings about this behavior with your partner.
- You always say “yes” and are ready to manage all the things by yourself.
- Your partner doesn’t love you any more.
- Your partner is not serious about this relationship, and many more
In actuality, it’s not your partner’s mistake that you are being taken for granted in a relationship; it’s your own. It happens because you allow it, i.e., because you don’t respect yourself, because you don’t stop your partner earlier, because you don’t talk about it, and even because you are always ready to do everything or be there all the time.
As a result, you are being taken for granted in a relationship. So value your own worth and take some steps to stop that.
WAYS TO STOP BEING TAKEN FOR GRANTED IN A RELATIONSHIP:
The following are 9 effective ways that help you stop being taken for granted in a relationship:
1. Take a stand
If you don’t value and respect yourself, how can you expect it from anyone else? I know love, care, and concern for your partner are one thing, but respect for yourself is another (and the most important one). So don’t allow your partner to misbehave or take you for granted, as it’s your own responsibility to take a stand for yourself.
Simply don’t tolerate such behavior, and make sure you guys have mutual respect for each other. Because before being a couple, we are all individuals and deserve respect. It’s even more important to take a stand initially, before that attitude becomes your partner’s habit.
2. Talk clearly about it
It’s important to talk about this in a relationship, so have an open and clear conversation about it. Just be very clear about which behaviors you should not tolerate in a relationship. And what exactly you want and need from a relationship, no matter how long you have been in a relationship.
This is one of the best ways to stop that, i.e., to share and express your feelings, like how that makes you feel, how badly you get hurt, how that loses the connection with your partner, how you feel lonely, and many more.
Because sometimes your partner keeps on behaving this way but doesn’t realize it. So make sure to talk about it clearly. You can definitely find a way out by talking about it with your partner, if your partner really loves you. Sometimes a lack of communication can create such issues in a relationship. So instead of tolerating it, talk about it with your partner.
3. Allow your partner to understand that it’s not acceptable
Despite of being prioritizing and being nice to your partner, he or she doesn’t even realize how badly their attitude makes you feel or affects your emotional and mental health. Thus, it’s very important to make them realize that it’s not acceptable. So talk about it with your partner.
Even if they still don’t realize it, it’s better to give them the same treatment intentionally, even just once or twice, so that they realize how badly such behavior makes one feel. Remember, it’s not about tit-for-tat or taking revenge; it’s about choosing the appropriate way to make them realize that it’s not good for the relationship.
4. It’s even good to refuse
Your habit of always saying “yes” to your partner could be the reason that your partner takes you for granted. Due to this habit, you tend to overexert yourself trying to do everything, and at the end of the day, when you realize that your partner doesn’t even care, you may end up getting more hurt and unhappy.
So it’s even good to refuse or say “no” to something that’s quite difficult for you to manage alone. So talk about it and do those things together or just by your partner. In simple words, just stop overcommitting yourself.
5. Treat your partner the way you want to be
Always start from yourself, i.e., give what you want from your partner and from your relationship. That means if you always give priority, respect, and value to your partner, only then can you demand it from them, right? So, first of all, check where you stand and set an example. Then step ahead and demand what you want.
Also, this helps build your image in your partner’s eyes, i.e., what kind of person you are and what things you just can’t tolerate. Because if you project the image of being quiet, shy, and tolerating everything, they may try to suppress you. But if you show that you are brave, strong, and self-sufficient, your partner knows that you’ll not tolerate anything wrong. So just look at how you want to create your own image.
6. Stop being available all the time
If you are always available for all the things and all the time, then definitely you’ll lose your value. Because sometimes over-concern and over-care in a relationship can spoil the habits and behaviors of your partner. Your behavior of always putting others before yourself could also be the reason that your partner is taking you for granted.
So you should change this behavior and take care of yourself. By taking care of your feelings, emotions, and needs, you are less likely to be taken for granted. So just figure out what makes your partner take you for granted, then make a change in that.
7. Be polite and patient
There is always the right time, the right tone, and the right way to talk about anything with anyone. And that same principle applies while having a conversation with your partner. So just be polite and use decent words while sharing your feelings with your partner. Because if you use words of blame, then that may offend your partner. And you end up having a fight with your partner instead of understanding each other’s point of view. So wisely pick your words and mind your tone while talking about it with your partner.
Now that your partner has promised to consider your point, you still need to show some patience, as habits take time to change. And do appreciate even the little efforts of your partner. Because by appreciating each other, you can make a change.
8. Be clear about your boundaries
Building and maintaining healthy boundaries is good for maintaining healthy relationships. Just set your boundaries and be very clear about them, so that your partner knows their limit. By talking about it in detail, both of you know where the limit is and what should not be tolerated in a relationship. That may sound rude, but it’s actually good for both of you and your relationship. So it’s good to set boundaries.
9. Don’t let your partner use you as a punching bag
We have seen so many couples who used to vent out their life’s stress and frustration on each other instead of sharing. As a result, their relationship suffers. Moreover, you may have seen that your partner is doing the same with you, i.e., considering you a punching bag, where they used to outburst their emotions when they get stressed or frustrated. This all happens because they take you for granted and don’t value your emotions and feelings.
So just be very sure to never let that happen to you or tolerate such behavior, because that will hardly take time to become your partner’s habit. Better stop it initially, and don’t let your partner vent their frustration on you.
You need to take it seriously and discuss it with your partner after realizing that you are being taken for granted in a relationship. You should resolve this issue as soon as possible before it’s too late. But if you’re not getting any results even after trying so many times. You should separate and end this relationship. Because being in such a relationship will only affect your feelings and emotions. So realize and value your own worth, even though others are not valuing you.
