Are you waiting to get a divorce after a child goes to college? The most obvious reason for this decision could be to minimize the effect of divorce on your child. And to provide them with a stable home environment.
Even if you think that your child will mature enough to handle your separation after going to college. But the facts are way more different than you think regarding getting a divorce after a child goes to college.
As a parent, do you realize that no matter what the age of the child, divorce does impact them a lot? Many parents don’t consider this but need to understand this aspect.
Moreover, this also raises the question: Should I wait until a child goes to college to get a divorce or not? Well, that’s what this article is all about, i.e., it helps clear up all your doubts regarding “divorce after a child goes to college”.
Let’s get started!
Impact of divorce after a child goes to college
You may think that getting a divorce after a child goes to college hardly makes any impact on your child, but it does in many ways. Look at the following points to learn how divorce impacts college-going children:
Makes them feel like they have no home
Going to college is a totally new environment for your child to adjust to, to make new friends, and to think about their future. And during that adjusting phase, when they get to know that their parents are getting separated, they may feel like they have no home left to go back to.
Mostly, this is the first time children are moving out of their home to study harder and to make a bright future. But this divorce news can actually give them more excuses not to come back home. Thereby, it is difficult for them to accept this with a sense of instability.
Raises financial concerns
Divorce is not just about separation, it’s more about financial concerns as well. Being a student makes your child more likely to think about who’ll get the responsibility of taking care of him or her, who’ll pay the college fees and other expenses, what if they want to participate in extracurricular activities, and so on. This may put them in deep thought and significantly impact their mental health.
Caught in distress feeling
During the divorce process, their involvement matters and they are more likely to decide whom to stay with. Moreover, they are supposed to serve as witnesses to explain the issues between their parents and much more. I think this is not something they can easily cope with, thereby making them stressed and unhappy.
Don’t forget to consider this aspect before making any decision, which most couples don’t realize.
Feeling guilty
The feeling that their parents are unwillingly staying together just for them can make them feel so guilty, making it difficult for them to get over this thought and disturbing them day and night. Living with guilt is actually too stressful and makes them feel bad.
Moreover, you can’t help them get over this guilt because they know you just tried to console them. Imagine how badly that impacts your child’s well-being.
Affects their ability to be in a stable relationship
When a child is moving to college, they have the picture of their parent in mind when talking about couple relationships. But as parents are getting separated, that majorly affects their on-going or future romantic relationship. They may lose the ability to be in a serious and stable relationship. See how challenging that one decision could become for your child.
Makes them overthink
That one decision can make them overthink every little thing, especially where they need the involvement of both parents. You may not realize it, but it does impact the child’s mental health to a great extent.
After considering the impact of divorce on college-going children, let’s move ahead to know if it’s the right decision to get a divorce after a child goes to college or not.
Should I wait until a child goes to college to get a divorce?
You may be thinking of getting a divorce after a child goes to college, just out of concern for your child. But now that you realize that divorce impacts college-going children in many ways (as discussed above), that simply means that no matter what the age of your child, divorce does impact your child. So you don’t need to wait until a child goes to college to get a divorce.
Get a divorce when, unfortunately, you feel no hope in your relationship even after putting in lots of effort. Because if you’re not happy in a relationship, you actually can’t focus on your child.
Out of concern, the best thing you can do for your child is to prepare them by explaining politely. By trying to make your divorce process peaceful, and prioritizing their needs.
In short, there is no ideal time to get a divorce out of concern for your child. No matter how long you have been married, if you’re not happy being in a relationship with your partner (even after putting in lots of effort), just go ahead and get a divorce. Some couples take divorce within a few years, while others can take gray divorce (i.e., get divorce in their 50’s).
I hope this article helps clear your doubts regarding getting a divorce after a child goes to college.
